I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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