How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
