Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
