I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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