my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
