My friends, they love my intelligence
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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