Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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