just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
