bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
