I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
