i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
