You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
