i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am midnight drunk by noon
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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