I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Slut skills are useful in every country.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
