I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I touched a dick in church today
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
