Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
