do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
