The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
