So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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