I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize