you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
