So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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