I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
