But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
