youre lurking in front of me
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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