We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
