he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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