So drunk its hurt
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
