I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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