talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
