Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize