I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
