he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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