Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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