He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
