I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
