From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
