So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
