I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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