2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
