Someone shit on the floor
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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