Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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