I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
