I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize