Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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