We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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