none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
