I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
