I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
