some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
50% drunk capacity currently
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
