butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
