remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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