You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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