all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
