The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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