she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
