I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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