he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
